Today was not unlike any other weekday morning for me. Coffee? Check. Newspaper? Check. Walk the dog? Check. I awoke groggy with a feeling of not wanting to go to work and ended up having to remind myself fixating on that which can't be changed is a waste of time.
So off to the closet I went to get my coat and it was there that I had a revelation. If there is complaining to do, I am not the subject that should be doing it.... my golf clubs are. My set of Cleveland Hi-Bore irons didn't have the greatest 2011 and the most action they've gotten in 2012 is a trip from one closet to another and the most excitement they've provided this year is scaring my dog when they clanged together while in transit.
Such is the life of a golf club during the winter months. Clubs in general are the subjects of quite abusive relationships, be it the continual impact of ball to club or the occasional toss across the fairway. Mine in particular are frequent fliers, and even though visiting beaches is a routine destination, their stay is brief and generally unpleasant.
To make matters worse, my clubs have to reside in a golf bag that has broken dividers, thus they are grouped together in hibernation rather than having their own personal space. Not much is worse than having your personal space violated, even to golf clubs. No wonder my clubs revolt when it’s time to hit the links in March. Not even cleaning them before putting them to bed for the winter is much of a consolation for the neglect they receive for months on end. When I bought the clubs, I was hooked on the forgiving nature of a hybrid iron, but I ignored the fine print that no matter how forgiving they can be for how you treat them, no club can cure an inconsistent golf swing.
I guess blaming the club for an errant shot was out of the question now, but who could blame an iron for sending a ball into the woods as a retaliation for poor treatment?
I thought about making a pact with my clubs when I get home from work today that I’ll get them more exercise and a new home and while some of that thought will certainly happen (a new golf bag), I don’t think slamming them into the ice cold ground is exactly the right move.
Maybe I’ll just let them scare my dog every now and then to keep their spirits up. Nevermind, that presents greater challenges with the pup.
Maybe I’ll take them to an indoor driving range to let them know they’re still an important part of my life. Getting a little warmer here, I think.
Wait, I’ve got it! I’ll work on my golf swing during the winter so when it’s time to return to the course my clubs are less likely to be thrown around, kicked, and berated with verbal assaults. That should work, right?
What was that? Oh, my golf clubs don’t have feelings because they’re golf clubs? Okay.
I guess I’ll just stick to Tiger Woods '12 this offseason then.